


Snow

by jasminflower69



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Depressing, Gen, Sad, Snow, Tragedy, back story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 19:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasminflower69/pseuds/jasminflower69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Russia relives a few memories from his past while watching the snow fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snow

Russia. It's always covered in snow, so brutally cold. Russia shifted uncomfortably in the wool greatcoat as he brought his hand up to try and bundle his scarf a little closer to his lips. He was sure they were starting to turn blue from the temperature, but the comfort of it drew him in as well. Memories were made in the snow, and as he looked up into the sky, each little flake seemed to trigger another memory. Some happy, some sad, but all of them seemed to be from forever ago. He'd been alive so long, how could the memories all seem to have been from forever ago?

He remembered the snow flake that fell into his eye as he froze practically to death when at one point Teutonic Knight held his head under the water. He knew it wouldn't kill him, after all, a country cannot drown unless the whole country dies, but it still hurt. Having ice in your lungs burns. When his head was finally yanked out, he couldn't even cough it up, he was too frozen and liquid and chunks of ice gurgled from his throat. He remembered looking up, seeing the slain soldiers from both side littering the creek and realized the water he was releasing was probably more pink than clear. His face was too frozen to even cry. He looked up into the sky and prayed for death, and instead a single, perfect snowflake landed in his eye. He was so cold it didn't even melt, just laid there and blocked part of his vision.

He turned his head towards the distant city and sighed, seeing the puff of white move the snow out of the way as another memory came into his mind. When Ukraine and Belarus first found him, he had been chained to a post. His hands had been captured in leather strapping that cut into his skin. They had left him to starve, but he just didn't die. He grew thin, and the pains of hunger seemed to make him quake with pain, and the cold didn't help. When the girls saw him and asked why he was so viciously punished, the people said he was a demon. He didn't age, he didn't die, he didn't starve. He just lived on.

Of course the girls understood what was happening, and Ukraine cried out in panic as she ran in to cut the trembling boy free. She lifted him, weighing well under half of what he should for a child of his height, but it made her realize how desperately she was needed for this poor child. The warmth of her arms around him was what drew him from the catatonic state he'd been in for well over a month. She lifted him and ran. He didn't realize the difference until they were in the street. He was dressed only in a rough sack, and was freezing from the fire being suddenly so far away, but the warmth beside him made him curl into it. He craved it. He needed it. He glanced over to the girl looking at him with fear and pity and realized she was touching him. It was the first time someone had, where they weren't trying to kill him. He hesitated as she carried him in a hurry to the inn she was at and as she carried him up the stairs, his arms gently reached out and touched her chest, just below her shoulders. He flinched, scared of her back lash and instead found her tears. “It's alright, Russe. You're safe now. You're safe.” She cried to him and he fell into shock. He could feel cold tears falling from his cheeks, but was still so afraid to talk. He covered his mouth to block out sound, to try and hold back sobs at her words.

Russia blinked away tears at the memory. He turned, seeing a deer in the distance and smiled, seeing it run off joyously. He couldn't help but to feel pride when he saw animals playing in the snow. It proved to him that not everyone hated it. 

Not everyone hated him.

He could almost feel his hands tighten around Teutonic Knight's throat. It was the first battle against the boy he'd won. He pulled him from the water. He'd tried to warn the German that the ice was thin, but he didn't understand. His own people had grasped him and pulled him back before the cracking of the ice lead under his own feet, but the other boy hadn't been so lucky. Russia hadn't wanted to see him die. He reached in and pulled him out.

It was the first time his mental stability was really questioned by his own people, since they realized what he was. He pulled the boy up and wrapped his fingers around his throat. He cried as he strangled the boy. He could see the shivering and feel the cold in the boy, but he knew the fear in his eyes wasn't from that. It was aimed directly at him. He said he didn't want to see him die, but at the same time his fingers tightened. 

Prussia must have been scared to death, Russia chuckled. It kept him away for a little while at least. 

But now things were like this. Instead of a battle, it was the economy. Instead of fighting for resources and land, now it was for stability. He wanted his country to prosper. He wanted to see his people happy. He wanted everything to be like it was so long ago, when Ukraine and Belarus were by his side. When he had a huge house with Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia. 

They were scared of him to this day, and he had to admit, they had reason to be. He wanted them back. Not because he wanted to rule them anymore, he'd realized a while ago. Russia lifted his hand out, catching a few errant flakes that fell and almost instantly melted against the glove. He didn't want to own the world anymore. He didn't want that kind of responsibility. But he wanted the good memories from back then to be relived. Laughing at the dinner table with Ukraine and Estonia while Lithuania passed out plates with a warm smile as Belarus and Latvia would argue over who had the weirder day. Having someone to greet in the morning. Having someone to say good night to. 

He missed having someone near him. More than anything, he hated the loneliness. He sighed as he looked up, seeing the flakes lighten in the air. The snow was passing by so quickly. He just stared up for a moment, seeing the flurries seem to come greet him. At least the snow would never leave him alone.

“Little Brother!” He heard and sighed. Hallucinations again? He scratched his head, wondering if they would have to change his medications again. “Little Brother!” He heard again and turned, seeing Ukraine run over with a grin and a picnic basket in her arm. “I was told you were out here! What are you doing so far away from the meeting?”

“Sorry, I guess I got distracted.” He stated softly, still wondering if this was his memory playing tricks against him. “What are you doing out here? I didn't think your boss wanted you near me.”

“I got his wife to tell him to let me have a week. You're my precious little brother, after all, and I miss you so terribly sometimes.” She smiled and Russia's eyes widened.

It was just what he needed to hear. He was missed. He was wanted. He turned down before she noticed the tears in his eyes, but it was too late. She'd seen the emotion so plainly when those words were released from her lips. “Are you alright?”

“I missed you too, Sister.” He smiled up at her and she stepped forward, brushing the moisture away.

“Come, I brought lunch. Let's go eat somewhere warm, Da?”

“Da. Thank you.” He hugged her close before relieving her of the burden of the basket she'd carried. “Thank you so much.” He glanced over, seeing her eyes shift over with worry.

“Are you sure you're alright?” She asked, softly laying her hand against his shoulder.

“Da, you just happened to say just what I needed to hear. You always do that, don't you?” He smiled at her, watching as her expression warmed. She gave him a quick hug before they actually started walking back to his house. 

At least for the next week, it wouldn't seem so cold, and maybe the snow would bring better memories.


End file.
